8 tahun 10 bulan 5 hari aku bersamanya. masa begitu pantas berlari meninggalkan detik2 pahit dan manis ketika menyambut kehadirannya dalam hidupku. He's my soul, he's my life and I am so gratefull to Allah because gave me Bless to have Aiman. Although sometimes I failed to control my emotions, I still believe my son would always love me.
Only fews of us could sharing thier feelings on how hard in raising an autism's child. Yes..my husband and I just aware this a few years back, when I'm attended a course about HOW TO HANDLE STRESS at Sabah, Malaysia. You didn't mentioned it right?..a common situations weather in small or big family, where parents getting lost temper and hit the child. Without knowing this child having a syndrom called autism...
Until now, I still regret hit my son when he's doing bad thing or something stupid...because he didn't knew how to express his feeling! He also didn't know to process a sentence when you ask him just at once..you have to say again and again with patient and sometimes have to explain on your own questions! I'am a bad temper once but now could consider that's from his syndrom.
An autism child doesn't have focus on everything except pitcure. Their 5 sense can't work together at one time...could you imagine how they facing school everyday?..year by year, I'm going to school just to listen the teacher that's my boy having a problem in class..and this year ( 2011), aiman will sitting on UPSR examination-a big exam for an autism child like him...so pity.
He always said-mother/dad, I can't understand what teacher said in school..I can't understand this questions..and when we checked his writing books, only 2 or 3 sentence could write down on it-every single day!..He said, he can't catch-up what the teacher's writing on board ( he still write first sentence but they move fast on third). 4 years ago, the same teacher always complain me on how hard to teach him, even she ask aiman to sit in front of her!...( I just keep sigh).
Last year, when parent's day came, I explain everything to the teacher until the teacher got tears on her eyes. may be recall on how she treated my son before..
Now, I teach my son at home, using work books and system that I bought from relative, myself. Yes he get fast feel boring but we didn't know other way to give education on him. I knew only a school named SmartKids could bear this matter but opportunately we can't afford.
Everyone deserve loved. My son also deserve a love from me even he often stab my feeling as a mother..unbiology mother. Slowly he grew up as a teenager and suddenly I feel so lonley. No more big hugs, no more slept on my arm, no more calling me late night to bring him a bottle of milk...yes, suddenly what our parents felt about us, happened to us nowdays. I hope Allah will give me another child to be pamper by me. If the time could turn 8 years back..I am willing to handle all again, to be a great mother to Muhammad Waziq Aiman..but mom promise to Allah, will always love you, will always forgive you no matter how, because you are my son. May Allah Bless you my son..
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